Friday Night

Ballroom class and coffee with the gals tonight then:

Tomorrow night a bunch of us are meeting at Church On The Move at 6 for the 7 o'clock show/concert and then we are headed to BA Cinemark for the 9:00 pm showing of Mission Impossible 4!

Hot

I am thinking a little less Frederick's of Hollywood a little more Donna Reed for my 50's glam look. Thoughts? Oh well back to the store to buy something more appropriate but these were on sale and are super sexy so I'll keep them!

Planning and participating

Last weekend I went to the ballet at the PAC here in Tulsa, and parking was a breeze, and then there was this odd little man sitting on a stool in the elevator pushing one of two buttons for theater goers so that we could forgo that arduous task up picking up or down, whew I mean, come on' who has that kind of time?  Let's see....up or down...I cannot decided, and when I do I am just TOO weak to actually lift my arm, extend my finger and assert pressure. I mean what do you put on your resume, "well I was a button pusher", interviewer: "oh like a lot of buttons"?  interviewee: "no just two", but it wasn't easy, and the pressure was immense to do it right every time"! 

Anyway, it was beautiful inside and I cannot say enough about the opulence of the red velvet seats, and the general vibe of the place, what I wouldn't give to be alone there during a thunderstorm watching a ballet.  The orchestra was hands down, flawless.  I mean it was painfully beautiful, like stir your soul to new heights of passion and intensity.  Here's the thing about this version of the classic Nutcracker ballet we saw performed; it isn't what you remember, this is one man's interpretation of that ballet, but I went in thinking it was going to be what I saw before in San Jose all those years ago, and so when I realized what I was going to be experiencing I was able to fully appreciate this ballet as a free, stand alone ballet, and stop comparing it to the classic.  So having said that; as a stand on it's own merit and with no comparison, it was stunning and immensely passionate, and visually flawless, and I could watch it another 1000 times and never get bored, and cry for the beauty of it.  The only negative, if you can even call it that, is that it bears little, if any; resemblance to the classic we older generation remember; I mean at two points during the show a car drives on stage, so you can see how I was taken aback.

Now on to the BOK Trans-Siberian Orchestra extravaganza last night...where to start?  Firstly the building is beautiful, the architecture is free flowing and there is a symmetry that you feel, a fluidity to the columns and almost soft feeling to the steel as it is all soft curves and slopes, like a woman's body, it was a sexy building.  There is a paper mache bird aloft and it adds to a sense of calm and serenity in the chaos and excitement of whatever event you are attending.  I think they could have done better with the entrance and ticket taking etc...as standing out in the cold was not entirely pleasant, but what are you gonna do?  This venue was different than the ballet, people were still streaming in to their seats at 8:30 and the show started at 8, it really bothered me, but this is the BOK not the PAC..hold please...okay I have to stop here and pick up later, massive party planning for my party here at my house tonight and then baby shower tomorrow for my friend that I am hosting at my friends large home in BA. 

P.S.  I bought Season 1 Kinect sports, and we are playing for the first time tonight so I am super excited!

Alfredo and rapids and the ballet

Much to post about last night but no time this morning, on call tonight then I am trying my second batch of cookies.

Cookies and Christmas parties

This is the recipe for the famous Neiman Marcus cookies that we recreated in my kitchen yesterday before my work Christmas party at the Wyndham last night, good times.

Ingredients

1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, softened

1 cup light brown sugar

3 tablespoons granulated sugar

1 large egg

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1-3/4 cups all purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

1-1/2 teaspoons instant espresso coffee powder

1-1/2 cups semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions

1.	Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Cream the butter with the sugars using an electric mixer on medium speed until fluffy (approximately 30 seconds)
2.	Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract for another 30 seconds.
3.	In a mixing bowl, sift together the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture at low speed for about 15 seconds. Stir in the espresso coffee powder and chocolate chips.
4.	Using a 1 ounce scoop or a 2 tablespoon measure, drop cookie dough onto a greased cookie sheet about 3 inches apart. Gently press down on the dough with the back of a spoon to spread out into a 2 inch circle. Bake for about 20 minutes or until nicely browned around the edges. Bake a little longer for a crispier cookie.

Cream the butter with the sugars until fluffy. Beat in the egg and the vanilla extract.

Combine the dry ingredients and beat into the butter mixture. Stir in the chocolate chips.

Drop by large spoonfuls onto a greased cookie sheet. Bake at 375°F for 8 to 10 minutes, or 10 to 12 minutes for a crispier cookie.

Makes 12 to 15 large cookies.

Tires and fires..

I took my car in for it's 30k check up and found out my tires were bald!  Oops, too much drag racing out at Shakey's apparently, so I had to put four new tires on and so they say "we're going to put nitrogen in your tire" but what I hear is "we're going to put nitrous" and that's where I stopped listening because I was psyched!  Needless to say they did not put NOS in my car but oh how I wish they would have!  Anyway they hooked me up with some pretty hot windshield wipers flushed the transmission and what not and scooted me out the door after hitting me up for five large, but hey my car looks cool.  Tonight is the company Christmas party where I have been assured that my chances are pretty high to win a massive plasma tv, and well..beings that I am the type of girl who loves tech hardware, that is right up my alley, me: Sure you can steal my Coach purse if I can have your wireless gamer headset.  Speaking of, last night I had my weekly gamer night and it was a hit, and may I say that I love that my friends have come around and really loosened up and embraced their inner children with my new XBOX, "which had to be calibrate to my voice which I learned last night" because since I bought it I kept feeling like it was ignoring me, I was starting to think my new game system was a bit misogynistic or at least made by a few; but I digress, tomorrow I am taking one of my dearest friends to the ballet with me, and I am so excited for the next 24 hours that I better scoot.  Wish me luck on my fitting today for my fancy New Years duds!

Horses and Winterfest

Tonight was absolutely fantastic!

Our venue

Stokely Event Center is where our New Year's bash will be held, this night is going to be incredible!

Aspire

Hair and makeup?

Dresses and touchdowns...

All I can say is that it was a disappointing game and leave it there.  Yesterday I decided to have my New Year's dress made for me by my neighbor and dear friend Pam, "for a reasonable fee" considering she only has a month to make it.  I am so unbelievably excited; so last night my pal Alecia and I went to Hancock Fabrics at The Farm in Tulsa, and the sales people were so helpful to making sure my seamstress had everything she needed for the pattern I picked out which is a Vintage Vogue circa 1957 "the longer sleeve dress" considering it'll be January, I got to pick out the zipper and thread and binding and I learned a lot about material and I kept thinking to myself "I should have payed attention in home ec"! Anyway I have the pearls, and am getting the gloves and black heels and a little clutch to complete my themed look for our groups themed New Year's Party where I intend on dancing the night away with my friends.  If this dress turns out half as good as I think it will, I would love to have several made in different variations of this 50's design, and I will unabashedly wear this to church, and feel like a total girl!  My friends are saying I should go get my hair done up in some up do and don the red lipstick and really get into it, so I think I might.

OU vs OSU 106th Edition

Alright tonight is the BIG game and is not to be missed!  The Sooners have long been the big brother in this series with wins in over 75 percent of the matchups since 1904, including the last eight. How lopsided has this rivalry been? Oklahoma has 26 30-point wins in the series and Oklahoma State has just one.

If the Cowboys can overcome this historical precedent they have a chance to re-write their record books. Oklahoma State has never been to BCS game and hasn’t even won a share of a conference title since 1976, when they split the Big 8 title three ways with Oklahoma and Colorado.

Oklahoma currently leads the series 82-16-7.  The series had historically been very lopsided in the Sooners' favor; Oklahoma State has defeated OU twice in a row just three times since World War II.

Just saying...BOOMER SOONER!

Lunch and Winterfest

Today was one of the best Friday's in the history of Fridays! If you are ever in the mood for Coney's, this place is the only place you should go!

I haven't forgotten, it seems like only yesterday..

Tonight and got into my pajamas and has some supper and contemplated starting a puzzle I bought but decided I really needed to catch up on blogging and writing letters and well...sleep.  I had my last dinner party of the year Sunday night, it was incredible!  Everyone had a blast and of course there was enough food for a small Army!  My first love was driving through Oklahoma on the way to a new job in Monterey, CA and stayed over and was able to meet my friends and we caught up on the last 19 + years and it was really, really nice.  I found out today that my best friend Angie is coming to stay Christmas weekend and that really made my day because I really didn't want to intrude on my friends and their families because I don't have one of my own.  So this weekend this group I am a part of is having a football party Saturday night so I will be attending church Sunday instead of my normal Saturday night service, and next weekend is my company Christmas party, the weekend after that I am hosting a baby shower for a co-worker at my besty Alecia's house in Broken Arrow, then the next weekend is Christmas, and the weekend after is New Years and my group is having a huge party so my time is toast.  My private life has really taken on a life of it's on, and I am really enjoying it,  the attention doesn't suck, not going to lie; once I took of my blinders I suddenly saw all the possibilities life has to offer, and the view is VERY nice :~)

I admit I had given serious thought to having a baby, I took my age and marital status and other factors into consideration and decided it probably wasn't a good idea, and that I would have to give up on the idea of having a family of my own, so I will embrace my solidarity and make the best of it.  I am really content with this little home I've worked so hard to create for myself, comfortable and welcoming but nice.  My cats keep me company and I am open to dating now and people say I am more approachable and that makes me happy.

I am behind on my Netflix and need to watch the Iron Man 1 disc I have, so I can watch instantly Iron Man 2, in time for The Avengers to come out, I am such a nerd, I love it, cannot wait for Kung Fu Panda to come out on dvd, and I've been to see Breaking Dawn twice and don't put it past me to see it a third time.  Work has been insanely busy so much so that I hardly notice time passing and the next thing I know it's 5 and time to go home. 

I am going to resist the temptation to get nervous about what might happen in the future, like when is the other shoe going to drop, like I know I have no right to be this happy, without the balance of something bad, to take away from my joy.

I miss my son Christopher so much and wish that he would call or text me or Facebook me or something but he is a senior in high school and has a life of his own, but I just wish he would let me be a part of it even if it is only is some small measure, something is better than nothing on that topic.

I better stop here or this will turn into a short novel; my friend ate at Denny's today, and had moons over my hammy, and said "thanks, Sam, all I can do is think of you now"; I had to laugh my butt off!

XBOX 360 with Kinect

Further proof no one listens to me, not even my XBOX!  I tell it to play, pause or whatever and it completely ignores me!  What's next my iphone 4 won't make my calls if it doesn't like who I am calling?  I really want to master my technology, it frustrating when my machines that are designed to make my life easier only succeed in making it frustrating.  I am still trying to figure out how to delete stuff off my iPhones iPod, I miss the blinking 12:00 on my vcr, now THAT submitted to my will!!!

Best laid plans..

The road to hell is paved with good intentions they say, I concur.  As this year wraps up I am taking stock of my life and what I've done this year to become the person I strive to be, someone my parents can be proud of; someone I can be proud of.  I tried not to let my feelings get the best of me, I tried not to get angry when I felt like I was being attacked or provoked; I tried to think before I spoke and to try to imagine how others felt because of the way I behaved or the words I spoke.  I tried to remain positive despite how each situation looked at the outset.  I tried to be the friend others needed me to be, and mostly I wanted to become more flexible and let others control things, and shockingly it felt great.  I am happier than I've ever been, I am fulfilled and I am blessed.  I know a contentment I didn't think possible before, now I can let things go where before I would obsess about what I could have said or done to change the ultimate outcome, the freedom I've attained because of this epiphany is phenomenal.  I'm not perfect, I won't ever be, but I can constantly set goals to try and become a better person than I was the day before.  I like what I see in the mirror now, that's new for me.  I love how much my life has changed because I opened myself up to it's possibilities, and now I see what I've been missing.

I am happy, I am loved, I am blessed.

Pass the chocolate chip cookies...

Amazing weekend!

Food and friends and fun, this weekend was quite possibly the best weekend to date. I never thought I could be this happy!

First foray into Zumba

I heard about Zumba from an old friend Sabrina Lemons "who also has a blog on this site", Sabrina is an instructor as well an inspiration to me!  Sabrina has three children, a husband, and is also a student; yet still finds time to be an instructor and an active fundraiser for such great causes, and I just don't know how she does it.  That having been said, when Bree told me about Zumba, I was curious because there are SO many fitness fads out there that I am hesitant to try anything new outside of my normal work out regime.  So I decided to enlist my friend Alecia to join me last weekend for the Zumbathon in Owasso for the Susan G. Komen fundraiser, to just sit in the bleachers and observe and see if it was something I was seriously interested in pursuing. 

Zumbathons are typically 1 hour to 1 1/2 long with a color theme, pink for breast cancer, blue for Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, etc..and they are held in gymnasiums or large venues (normal everyday classes are held in gyms as well, or at your local church or fitness club), anyway the colors of the outfits that the people were wearing were so bright and vivid and fun that it really caught my eye, also I found it noteworthy that each individual wore unique clothes despite the color theme, that were complimentary to his/her body type and personality, people wore everything from their own work out clothes, to Zumbawear, which is sold through an individuals instructor or online at the Zumba website, or through people who resell their clothes because they have lost so much weight from doing Zumba they no longer fit!  I saw cute cheerleader skirts, Capri's, cargo pants, yoga pants, shirts, razor backs, tee shirts, and all sorts of other Zumba designed clothes that I thought to participate if only to wear the nifty outfits; lame but true. 

People also colored their hair with chunks of pink in support of the cause, and I thought that was a really fun way to show support.  Water and snacks are provided throughout the entire 2 hours dance marathon, don't think aerobics, this is not aerobics, think going to a club with your friends and dancing in a smoke free environment where people can dance WITHOUT needing a cocktail first for liquid courage.  When the event got under way I was impressed by how the music seemed perfectly synced to each dance led by different instructors as the night progressed.  Now I wondered before going in if it mattered how extensive my dance background was, and as it turns out, it doesn't matter at all because each dance/song has a routine that is initially broken down in such a way that you don't even notice you are learning choreography for an entire dance!  That takes skill my friends!

Now please note that throughout I have been saying people, NOT ladies, for a very specific reason, I have never seen such a wide variety of people in all my life!  Men, women, kids, and teens and even elderly people showed up to represent; it was inspiring; if my Nana can do it so can I!  The time is up before you realize you are drenched in sweat and have burned a thousand calories.

The people at the two Zumbathons I attended were so friendly and welcoming and inclusive and you could tell that each person had a story to tell about how they found Zumba and how it had changed their lives.  You find yourself wanting to be included into this growing community of people who want to have fun and support each other and look great while doing it, and hey did I mention the Oklahoma groups are one of the biggest supporters of amazing causes that affect us all?

So I know that Zumba is everywhere now, popping up in rural communities and being offered in health clubs, but their website shows you where your local classes are, who is teaching and when. and the good news is, I found multiple classes everyday of the week being offered in my area, so I plan to try a bunch of different ones because each instructor is different.

More later, I am going to hit a couple of classes today so I will post more later!

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

Mother Theresa

This is the jam

I'll be your lover too..

Because I couldn't be any happier than I am right now.  I wish I had time to blog, but alas; life has gotten a tad busy, but I will catch up soon.  Until then, please enjoy the song in my heart by clicking on the link.

I really do though..

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will." - Dr. Robert Anthony

I have only one life to live, and I have made my choice, and no matter how it turned out, I am glad I tried my hardest.  I know where heaven on Earth is.

Things weren't going to end up like before because they were going to be even better.

Up and Down Up and Down

I get it...

Alright I have been giving friendship a lot of thought lately.  What is your definition of friendship?  How would you describe a true friend?  Would you say you've been a true friend for all days, in all ways?  How many true friends can you truly say you have? 5-300?  I wonder if you were honest, you'd say a select few.  Nowadays in our society you are lucky to find ONE spouse to be honest, loyal and faithful much less 20 plus people who you know would go to the mat for you, sacrificing whatever they had to make sure you were okay.  That is my definition of a true friend.  I think this is because as the Bible tells us, Greater love hath no man; that lay down his life for his friend.  Well since my father believed in setting an example I now understand why I set my bar so bloody high.

Here's the thing though, to be human is to be fallible.  Humans are weak and susceptible to external influences, and pressures, and feelings.  I often joke and say I have definitely been loves bitch, but only once!  Something else my dad taught me was to do unto others as I would have done unto myself; Luke 6:31 and I can honestly say that I try to hold to that.  My problem is that when I am hurt, my first instinct is to hurt back, because all I've known is violence, and rage and aggression since my dad died; and people saying "I only do this because I love you".  Well I have a hard time controlling my passionate feelings and emotions and yes sometimes I lose the battle and react instead of cooling off then dealing with whatever.  I cause additional damage or make a situation worse when I speak out of hurt, and all anger is in my opinion is amplified sadness.  I don't think I am the first or last person to be guilty of doing that, do you?  I try to make amends when that is possible, but words once spoken alas cannot be taken back, the damage is permanent.

Most of my closest friends I've known for a minimum of 20 years, the rest well over that; and those people, I would gladly take a bullet for, and that is not a metaphor.  I know these people and what they are capable of, good, bad or indifferent I am their friend, nothing they said or did could make me love them any less than I do.  I know that they know all that I am, all that I have done, and they choose to love and support me also, and to be in my life and kick my butt when I need it; and I return the favor.  Where I grew up people looked out for each other, because no one else did.  Not all of us grew up with the picket fence, curfews, or rules.  I know I am here today because I had some of the best people behind me watching my back, and trust and believe it wasn't any blood relative.

I guess I take friendship seriously because my friends ARE my family.  If I tell you I love you, it's for life; not until you piss me off.  Just because I say you hurt me it doesn't mean I don't worry about you or think about you or pray for you.  Even if I don't see some of my friends for a year or more, I know they are only a phone call or text away, and they know that also.

I wish I could see my dearest friends more often, but we are all scattered to the winds and busy doing the day to day grind.  I just wanted to take a moment and say I am grateful for those people who have stuck by me through thick and thin, and it is my sincerest hope that you can say that I have been the friend you needed in your dark times.

Just the two of us..

Feeling the groove this morning..I need to make Hobo Pies for this week, I need motivation!

Cooking

I am going to have to get back into the kitchen I miss it immensely.  I am also going to enjoy burning those calories at Sabrina's Zumba class~  I watched an amazing game today and my team won, no shock there, so now I am going dancing at the Ivey after going to C.J. Moloney's to listen to Imzadi.  Wish me luck, fudge is on the menu for my coworkers~

Taming of the Shrew

Right?

Creep

In the mood for it, that's why.

You're my rock star baby..By Samara Sant

You make it all look simple;
You running around my city like it's nothing
I see you standing in the sun;
it is painful to look at you, that is how much I want you;
there is nothing about who you are that I don't like.
Watching you breathe is fun for me;
I am like some kid when I am near you, like
your my rock star;
I just want to know what you're going to say next
They don't know you, not really;
Not like me; but I'll never tell;
The secrets you keep are yours to share;

I don't wanna care
Teach me how not to care; like you don't
You make giving up seem simple
but I won't
I don't know how you do what you do to me
I'm all ripped up, your seamless

Is it fun to watch me float in the wind,
Do you shake your head and laugh
Thinking what a stupid girl
I won't claim I even know you; you're no friend of mine..
Are you lovin on her thinkin thank God, you're not her
Your girl is so shiny and educated, bet she can count..

I don't wanna care
Teach me how not to care; like you don't
You make it all look simple;
You make giving up seem simple
but I won't
I don't know how you do what you do to me
I'm all ripped up, your seamless

How come I cannot let you go;
I never lose faith in us
I am untouchable; unattainable; unavailable
yours.

I don't wanna care
Teach me how not to care; like you don't
You make it all look simple;
You make giving up seem simple
but I won't
I don't know how you do what you do to me
I'm all ripped up, your seamless

by Samara Sant 08/27/11 2:01 p.m.

1997

I wanna forget

What do you want?

I've never actually seen this movie, perhaps I should make it a point to Netflix it since it's message clearly speaks to me...not in a "i Hear voices, speaks to me, but in a cool "it speaks to me" vibe. :~)
Classic

Give me the original with Janet, remake is hot though.

I'm Glad

Lamp candle

Check this out!

Bancroft Way Apartments in Pacifica, CA.

San Mateo, CA 1985

119 N. Kingston, San Mateo.

Ever the same

Sammitches and Sheeps and pies

Clear here to go listen to Imzadi with us next weekend!

Dinner

Church 5:15/Savastano's 7:45/Sidelines to watch Imzadi time unknown lol

Harry Potter

Wow, now that was an awesome sequel!!  More later, must get some sleep.
UPDATE:
This finale was well worth the wait, and I am really glad I went and saw it late last night, instead of during the day, there weren't a TON of people and the people that were there were SILENT the entire film.  I think we were all afraid we were going to miss something!  Harry the final chapter was action packed and no moment was really left to pad film time, everything that was shown was crucial to explain all the vital elements of the story.  My ONLY complaint was that I didn't see the moment where Harry made Voldemort SEE that Snape HAD been loyal to Dumbledore, well maybe not Dumbledore but to Lily, I wish that moment had been clear.  I laughed, I cried, and there were some really creepy parts that I couldn't watch also.

I think I might go see it again tonight.

ALR received his BPH 1045 (A) this morning so basically now we wait, and if the call comes in I will fly to Sacramento and say my peace and close this chapter for good and final.

Friday night

It's a Rogue weekend.  Tomorrow night we are all headed to C.J. Moloney's in Broken Arrow come join us!  After work we will head to dinner, and then go listen to the band at C.J.'s and play some pool and dance maybe.  Saturday is Harry Potter and church and Sunday, is strictly Rogue and no one else. Work is going really great, and we are staying busy and I am not on call again till Monday night, but I'm looking forward to it.  I am working on this new Penal Code 3041.5 to get ALR released and I've emailed, mailed, and faxed the Governor of California, and the California Department of Corrections, and everyone else I can think of to either grant him an Advanced Parole Board hearing or release him; hopefully to Oklahoma, it's actually been a lot of fun doing all this research and finding this new opportunity for him and his family

Crook

Mr. Darcy sleeps in the crook of my right arm all night, every night.

Shush

Wild and Never Ever Again by Samara Waiting in Vain

Strength in the silence,
Doubting everything I thought for years I took as fact
Passion unbridled, heat and fire uncontained;
Love unfettered for so long will not be stifled,
Nothing in the the cold night but the questions, why, and how could you so quickly?
Was anything real, and why attend the encore performance when you have upgraded season tickets, first class all the way?
Tame, and restrained is your code now,
Never looking back or missing home.
It's soot in the fireplace, and hangers in the closet, and breakfast pastries eaten by four legged thieves,
It's lying in the grass at midnight with short ones;
looking at the stars and holding hands so no one can see
Ice cold cars at 4 a.m. and a long drive home
It was a dream, a fantasy a wish; thank you for waking me.

Unspeakable pain

I just woke up in so much pain, one reason on a short list that I am sad about living alone.

HARRY POTTER

7 days, that's all that needs to be said.

Darcy and Sookie and LL Bean

No work, no plans, no errands, just pure r & r and catching up on my dvr and whatever else I feel up to. I am really looking forward to the nothingness, maybe I can finally go see Kung Fu Panda like I've been wanting to!

Big Brother

I am super jazzed to go home and get in my pajamas and eat some supper and drink a cold bottle of water and an ice cold 7-Up and curl of with Sookie and Mr. Darcy and watch Big Brother!!! I will be posting my impressions and predictions and various rants throughout this new season, cannot wait!

Sonic

I NEED a Blt and tater tots!!

07/07/93

You're the best thing I've ever done. I love you and your family beyond words, and I am so unbelievably proud of all your accomplishments; in school; in sports; and in life. I think of you every day and hope you are happy and thriving. I miss you and am always here for you no matter what; no matter when.

Baked potato, hold the salt

Day in day out doing what's expected, trying to do what I think I'm supposed to do. Ever been surrounded by people and felt completely alone, or find yourself thinking; if only so and so were here..this would be the perfect moment? I stood in a kitchen on the fourth and thought, so and so would have loved that joke I just thought of but didn't say out loud because not everyone appreciates my attempt at humor and they get all butt hurt. Do you think the powers that be keep revealing someone to you over and over? Do you think they're trying to tell you something; or am I being overly alert to that person and all things related to them? Ugh, this s u c k s. Gotta let it go, gotta give up hope the phone is going to make noise, gotta let the love fade, the friendship, the BEST friendship ever dim in my mind. Must focus on anything bad or negative so as not to be tempted to pick up the phone and dial the digits that damage.

Ot

Working late again this evening but I won't have to work any OT until 07/13 so I am looking forward to making plans.

Gooey Butter Cake take 2

Let's Party!

If I don't get called in to work I am headed to Paddock's to do some party prep cooking, and will post pics shortly!  I am going to make some Lil Cheese Smokies wrapped in Butter Crescent Rolls, Bisquick Sausage Balls, some Hamburger Queso, Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies, and my now famous Gooey Butter Cake.  I guess we are going to have quite the view of the fireworks tonight from the house in Broken Arrow, and I am really looking forward to it!  I am interested to see if my friends know the way around a grill or not also, 7 minutes on my steak total please!  

This morning I am remembering watching fireworks with my mom in 1985 that they were launching off the bridge.  Have a happy and safe 4th!  God Bless America!

Truth is

COTM This is my favorite song we sing at church, and why I love to go every Saturday!

There is nothing in the world as uplifting as the COTM band!

Communication is a funny thing

If I say I love you, that's what I feel.  If I say I miss you, THAT's what I feel.  If I say I have faith in you, it's because I do.  If I tell you I was honest, and never lied, take it as fact, I have no reason or motivation for lying to you, if I let you into my heart, my life, my soul, trust me it's a big deal, because there are only a select few who can say as much.  I am passionate and I am a fighter, always have been, always will be.  I am strong and there is nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done, that I haven't already survived or overcome.  Take that as a good thing, I'll forgive you when you break my heart, or when you let me down, because I know what it is to be human, because guess what, so am I.  To err is human...Don't judge me or look down on me because you aren't better than I am, and I am no better than you; we are equals, we're all equals.  Don't worry about me and mine, worry about you and yours.  You do you, I'll do me.  I am not a quitter, I am perseverance personified, I am diligent, and I love fiercely and I am loyal, ask any of my friends if there isn't anything I won't do for them if it is within my power to do so.  I've only ever been in love in my life once, that is saying a lot; life is not a game I am playing, I have a purpose and a point and I won't allow anyone to waste my time, and I won't waste yours, it's disrespectful.

I'll never tell

Beautiful Ones

I worked some over time yesterday and then headed out to Magoos and shot some pool and then we went to Bass Pro to visit my $799.00 recliner with heater/and vibrate, and I watched the fish by the waterfall, and then we went to see the bar aquarium that they have, but they were put up because they have a leak in their tank, and they were repairing in and it should reopen today.  We headed over to Los Cabos from Bass Pro and listened to a great cover band Usual Suspects out on the patio, and then I headed home to crash, and I didn't wake up till late this morning, I really needed the sleep.  Last night I got the best sleep I've had in almost a year, and I woke up SO completely relaxed, and..chipper.  I cannot stop smiling and I am completely destressed.

 

July 1

So long #914! I'm moving!!! Really excited about this new chapter in my life!

Happy Father's Day Dad

I remember my dad doing laundry one night after he put us to bed; and it was a few weeks before he died; and I remember laughing because he had his walkman on and was singing this song and I just remember thinking, "what a dork".

Last night

Saturday was an amazing day!  I worked for a few hours, and then came home to get ready for church and Autumn, and Dakota and Pam and Frank met me here at my place and then we left to meet up with Michael at church (we missed Lantz though), and the Father's Day service was awesome!  After service we drove over to AMC and met M.P. and Jewel; to watch the Green Lantern and it was really great hanging with my friends and staying busy and keeping myself occupied.

Cry to me

hot hot hot hot

X-Men

Alright so where do I start?  Since I have been "living" I haven't had time to blog about the movies I've seen or the new things I have been doing or trying, and I haven't been able to share all the "outside of my comfort zone" stuff I have been inspired to do as of late.  Yes I got up early this morning and showered and went to the store for some essentials for the week but then I came home and got into "comfy" clothes, and went back to bed, and caught up on some dvr stuff, and spent some time with my felines, and ended up napping off and on all day.  My sister called from Georgia and Steph called from California.

Church last night was amazing, hilarious actually, and afterwards we all came back here and ate my famous spaghetti, and then went and watched X-Men, oh my gosh it was the best yet!

I watched Drive Angry, and that was a bit graphic, but still it was an awesome flick, I also really enjoyed The Mechanic, next up is Kung Fu Panda, now that I've got someone to go with me. 

Sookie and Mr. Darcy are getting along great, but they sometimes fight, and I cannot tell if it's for real or what, so I break it up.  Right now my cats are curled up asleep next to me as if I have made them work in the fields for days or something, what a rough life here at Casa Sant.

By the way, threading hurts like hades, but it is totally worth it in the long run.  I will just have to grin and bear it when the time comes to get some maintenance done.  My new haircut is super cute and easy to maintain!

Alright times up, calls to return.

C-1-8A

Autumn you twig...

Threading

I DID IT! I went to the mall at lunch and got it done, finally! I will expound upon it later, I am working mass OT so I can buy my kitchen table!

Come Undone

It's Monday folks, are you ready for it?  lol okay I have volleyball tomorrow night, dinner party at my house Wednesday night, and hopefully meeting up with my friends Friday night since I couldn't get free yesterday, and Saturday was so hectic I had to take a Mulligan, so this weekend will be make-up for this one.  So I am really looking forward to this week and all the mail that is headed my way, cannot wait to get the pictures~

I watched Drive Angry yesterday, that was a great movie as was The Mechanic so I will have to blog about that later, for now I have to get into hair and make-up, hmph, I cannot believe I have to do this every morning now, why do women think they need all this crap to be beautiful, there is nothing hotter than that fresh out of a hot shower look, trust.

Later,
RSSD

Dez Bryant

So yeah, yesterday didn't turn out as I had expected, so In Omnia Paratus is still my appropriate motto.  My own Nana didn't recognize me when I walked in, everyone said I looked great, who knew losing a few pounds, and straightening the hair, applying some make-up and buying a whole new wardrobe could do so much for a gal?
Alright, I have so much to do and so little time; I have gotten everything accomplished this weekend (including getting some oil spots on my carpet at my front door from a repair man removed) except the crookedly hung curtain rods rehung in my apartment, but a friend is coming by to fix that.  I have the new LL Bean bed set and I threw my old stuff out, so I feel like everything is really coming together.

Off to enjoy my Sunday~

One

No I didn't get another ticket, but may I just say I LOATHE DRIVING SLOW!!  I literally have to concentrate on going the speed limit, I and my car want to drive fast, no clue why.  Also something that is really bothering me, I cannot for the life of me figure out iTunes for my iPhone 4, I want to sort my music but I can't, so aggravating.  I do not like feeling stupid at all.  Later!

Zumba

Jam packed day today, and it doesn't help that I woke up this early with a nightmare.  I have to head to Wal-Mart in a second to go buy a phone for my bedroom because my battery dies on my cordless whenever I talk longer than 5 minutes and nothing is more frustrating than ending a call early because of a dead battery.  Cox is coming between 8-10 this morning to install it, and Autumn and Dakota are coming over to do some work for me "pre-paid" not free labor!  Alecia gets off work at 11 this morning and we are headed to Inola, Ok to meet my Nana at noon at the Round-Up club for the Best/Bynum/Mootry/Spurlock annual family reunion.  I have to be back in Catoosa by 4 to shower and change and be ready to leave for church at 5, where I am meeting up with my peeps, (picture yellow marshmallow ducks) to hang out and catch up on the weeks events, then after church let's out at exactly 7:15 (thank you Willie George for sticking to a schedule) we are all headed to meet up with our non-church friends at 8:15 in Broken Arrow, Ok for the 8:35 showing of X-Men Origins, I think Sabrina and her family might even come into town from Inola, fingers crossed; it's been a minute since I've seen the Queen of Zumba!

Sunday is going to be my day of rest and NOT doing a blessed thing (except maybe tan).  R & R, that's what I need!  If I have time between the install and my personal assistant I need to go to Woodland to get my eyebrows threaded, I will blog about how much fun that is or isn't depending on what happens.

I bought perfume for myself for the first time in a long time yesterday, everyone seems to really like it.  Alright, headed out to shop real quick!

Goodbyes

        

I loathe waiting

I am not a fan of waiting, I am not known for my patience; I freely admit to wanting what I want the minute I want it; I also don't like waiting for others to get what I want, it's as if no one else I know has the same sense of urgency that I do.  I also seem to want things a great deal, for example I don't sort of want something; I really and truly want it with all my heart.  I don't mean "things" either, I mean a phone call from someone I love or miss, or a visit, or any other form of communication.  If I say I want to see someone, I mean I really cannot wait to lay eyes on them, "which is a really gross saying if taken literally".  I really cried when Angie came to visit me, I was so unbelievably happy to see her, that it really shook me emotionally to see her standing at my door.  It seems other people are able to be more detached, less invested in the people they love, not as "connected", I must admit that if my friend hurts, I hurt.  Hmm, maybe I need to disengage or withdraw a bit?  I will have to give that some serious thought; I am very emotional sleeve girl, and I've been told I wear my emotions for everyone to see, not a very good poker face it seems.

My phone is really starting to bother me, I hate it when it's supposed to be ringing and isn't; I start to worry and imagine all sorts of things that are causing it not to ring, like the person who is supposed to be calling is in mortal danger or something.  Alarmist, me?? Yeah pretty much, but again I want what I want when I want it, and I want my phone to ring darn it!  Oh well my friends can take care of themselves, I shouldn't worry so much right?

So I got a speeding ticket on my birthday, no seriously I did, the cop was like laughing as he walked up to my car, and he was like "do you even want to know how far past the speed limit you were going"?  Me:  "No thanks" Cop: "ever received a ticket for speeding before"? Me: "Nope" Cop: "Alright I'll give you ten over so it won't go on your license", Me: "Cool, thanks" Cop: "Slow down Sam and happy birthday, that'll be $79.00 dollars please".  Me: "Thanks you shouldn't have" lol he was nice.

P.S. The phone rang..woot..woot..

Old enough..

Europa

Feelin love...

It's been a minute; but I needed a moment.  So much has changed, I've changed, I've gotten stronger, and I feel like I've overcome some things that needed to be conquered.  So now I am back, stronger than I ever was, ready for anything, In Omnia Paratus.  I cannot remember the last time I felt this happy or empowered or confident in who I am and what I want, and that no one and nothing can or will bring me down, ever again.  I've been through hell and came out the other side, I got this; trust and believe.  My friends and yes even some family have really helped me see things for how they really are, and I've done things lately I never thought I was capable of doing.  I can honestly say I've never been happier, or more secure in life than I am right now, in this place in my life.  I've never smiled so much, never laughed this much, "or this loud" or thought more about Santana and Europa than I have in the last month.  (Inside thing; sorry).

So yeah, life is good.  I rescued another cat, Mr. Darcy, eighteen pounds of pure love and sweetness; and he is adjusting well and Sookie seems to really love the company.  Work is fantastic, the women in my office are funny and intelligent and really kind, loved my birthday present from the office btw. 

I'm 37 as of this past Saturday and I feel I've earned every gray hair on my head.  I had the best birthday to date, actually best birthday weekend; truth be told.  I am spending a lot more time out and about and went to Los Cabos in Jenks yesterday with my friends and walked around the river and went to my arcade and played Dance Dance Revolution Super Nova 2 like I have been wanting to do since last time we went, then we came home and played cards and talked; it was pretty incredible.

So it's back to business as usual, movies and work and going out in Tulsa, and it seems we will be going out on the lake a lot this summer on Michael's boat, and we are even going to camp for a day or two; yikes!  Expect a LONG blog on that one.  I have so much to do still in this life, and time is flying by so fast I cannot believe it,  I've missed writing and I am glad to be back at it.  

I will write more later but for now I am headed to a pool party in Broken Arrow, later people! 

Last night

Mr. Johns and Addie

Mr. Johns after my Easter dinner last night, right after dessert actually!

Last night I sat in my living room surrounded by people I love and respect and I thought, "jeez how lucky am I"?  So many people are less fortunate than I, and I really took in the moment and thanked God for it.  I am positive I haven't done anything to deserve all this happiness and peace and contentment.  I see things for how they really are now, and I also see people for who they are as well, and what type of person they are in my life, and how true of a friend.  A true friend loves and supports you no matter what, and they never give up on you and accept you.  I will always try to be the friend my friends are to me.  This Thursday it'll be 3 weeks since I started to get well, and I hope people are starting to see the physical changes in me, because I FEEL better.

Angie had to leave immediately after dinner and drove all the way back to Mississippi to be back at work this morning, now that is love!  I think she is going to try to come down next month or I will try to get down there to her, as Alecia says she will be my co-pilot for my first trip.  My Sookie is NOT thrilled about Copper and Heffer, Ang's two Chihuahua's at all.  As soon as she realized they were gone and not likely to return soon she was visually pleased. as in she came out of her hidey hole and started to socialize.

I finally got all the dishes washed and put away and the tablecloth washed and put back on the table, and the house is back in order.  Now I am listening to the rain, and listening to the Pogues.