I tried

After much soul searching,
and MANY conversations
I've decided that my cats and I are going to stay in Oklahoma.
I've lost a dear friend in all of this all because I couldn't let go of this fantasy in my head.
If things don't work out like I hope, I'll have no one to blame but myself if I end up alone.

Wait

When things progress so fast it's hard to keep up
to get lost in the whirl of it
Swept away in a sea of hope
Praying the current will steer you towards less tumultuous waters
Where you can get your footing and stand unassisted
I feel tossed and tipped and I don't like it there
Never have
The fog cleared and I saw a familiar lighthouse
I felt the familiar tug from the undertow
a part of me just wanted to give up this fight and surrender to the depth

Patsy Cline

I loved you so much it almost killed me.