Anticipation by Samara Sant

My breath quickens, my cheeks flush, my heart beats a tempo faster.
Nerves, yeah I feel em.
I've never felt quite like this..
So frustrated..
Warm, red splotchy skin, moist palms.
What is taking so long??
I close my eyes and concentrate on my breathing, in and out..in and out..
Concentrate..it'll happen soon enough, not soon enough for Samara but..soon enough;
I am instant gratification girl..
Patience is a virtue I struggle with moment to moment.
Control, I have a hard time letting others have some, but I am working on it; especially in this moment in time.
Feeling powerless over something is not my happy place.
Who among us doesn't fear the unknown just a little?
The hell you know is better than the hell you don't.
I know it's going to come at any moment, but will I be ready when it does?
I'm excited and tortured in the same soul and it feels gloriously awful.

Joss Whedon and my other Sci-Fi Loves

Alright so I am a self-professed geek, or nerd.  A list of must see small and large screen movies and shows that I love:  Wow I have to stop at 62 because my lunch hour is almost over!!!

1. Firefly alas it's been canceled.
2. Dollhouse, with my favorite Eliza Dushku.
3. The Sarah Connor Chronicles
4. Buck Rogers
5. Science Fiction Theatre
6. The Bionic Woman
7. Battlestar Galactica
8. Lost In Space
9. Alien Nation
10. Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
11. Roswell
12. The Six Million Dollar Man
13. Stargate SG-1
14. Wonder Woman
15. Dark Angel
16. V
17. Flash Gordon
18. Star Trek
19. The Outer Limits
20. Twilight Zone
21. Sliders
22. Mystery Science Theatre 3000
23. Dr. Who
24. The X-Files
25. Star Trek: The Next Generation
26. Jurassic Park
27. Close Encounters Of The Third Kind
28. Forbidden Planet
29. Back To The Future Series
30. Flight Of The Navigator
31. E.T.
32. Firestarter Series
33. Aliens
34. Terminator Series
35. The Day The Earth Stood Still
36. 2012
37. The Matrix Series
38. Star Wars Series
39. War Of The Worlds
40. Surrogates
41. I Robot
42. Tank Girl
43. Dragon Ball Evolution
44. The League of Extraordinary Gentleman 
45. Predator Series and AVP Movies
46. Men In Black Series
47. Ultraviolet
48. Resident Evil Series
49. Fifth Element
50. Elektra
51. X-Men
52. Underworld Series
53. Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979).
54. Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan (1982).
55. Star Trek 3: The Search for Spock (1984).
56. Star Trek 4: The Voyage Home (1986).
57. Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier (1989).
58. Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country (1991).
59. Star Trek Generations (1994).
60. Star Trek: First Contact (1996).
61. Star Trek: Insurrection (1998).
62. Star Trek Nemesis (2002).
63. Star Trek (2009).
64. And I am sure I will love the Untitled Sequel (2012)- confirmed.

The most erotic argument.

My favorite book/movie/scene from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.  I feel their emotions, I taste the salt of tears, and I hear the rain, and thunder, and I am there.  I have had this moment, I relate fully to the moment.  I of course also own the soundtrack and it takes me right there to that moment where in anger untruths are spoken and feelings misunderstood, and love is palpable, and the kiss that didn't happen but was being begged for by both, is hotter because they resisted every fiber in their beings, they denied their love, their passion, their heat and connection because of their pride, and hurt feelings. I know this scene, I have lived it.  Jane Austen you are my hero.

Sonnet 116 Deciphered & Fur Elise

Let me not to the marriage of true minds	Let me not declare any reasons why two
Admit impediments. Love is not love	True-minded people should not be married. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,	Which changes when it finds a change in circumstances,
Or bends with the remover to remove:	Or bends from its firm stand even when a lover is unfaithful:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark	Oh no! it is a lighthouse
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;	That sees storms but is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,	Love is the guiding north star to every lost ship,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.	Whose value cannot be calculated, although its altitude can be measured.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks	Love is not at the mercy of Time, though physical beauty
Within his bending sickle's compass come:	Comes within the compass of his sickle.
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,	Love does not alter with hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.	But, rather, it endures until the last day of life.
If this be error and upon me proved,	If I am proved wrong about these thoughts on love
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.	Then I recant all that I have written, and no man has ever [truly] loved.

Pacifica, California a/k/a Samara's hometown.

My parents loved Pacifica, they lived there before I was born, and it is where they brought me home from the hospital, and it's where we would find ourselves living again.  So the question is, can you ever go home again?  Pacifica is a small city with mountains encircling it and the ocean in front, it's usually cold, and wet and foggy and miserable and no city has held my heart like it has.  When I wrote the poem about the ocean found here on the blog it was about this cliff overlooking this six mile beach.  I was happy here once, maybe I could be again?  I went to Sharp Park and if we'd stayed I would have went to Oceana High School.  I love the view from Sam's Castle in Pacifica.

The second picture below is of the beach, and where we would take long walks, and do cartwheels in the sand with our parents.  Especially my dad.

The third photo is of the famous waves Pacifica is notorious for.  They are dangerous, and aren't to be trifled with, neither is the undertow.  The last photo is of a statue at Sam's Castle.

 

Gooey Butter Cookies

Ingredients

1 8oz. pkg. cream cheese
1/2 c. butter, softened
1 egg
1/4 tsp. vanilla
1 box of cake mix (your preference as to flavor)
1/2 c. powdered sugar

DIRECTIONS:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, cream together the cream cheese and butter. Stir in egg and vanilla. Add cake mix & stir until well blended. Powder sugar your hands well. Roll balls into 1" or 2" and roll balls thoroughly in powdered sugar. Place 1" apart on clean and dry cookie sheets. Bake for 10 minutes. Leave on cookie sheet for 3 minutes or more before removing to cool on wire racks.

Ice cream pie

Sam's concoction today:

Crust:
1 bag of miniature Chips Ahoy chocolate chip cookies crushed
2 cups of hot Hershey hot fudge
1 stick of real butter

Pour ingredients as is into glass baking dish and bake at 350 degrees for a hour.  Chill in freezer until cold and hard.

One half gallon of Blue Bell Great Divide ice cream poured and spread over crust, put back in freezer to harden ice cream to crust. 

After ice cream has refrozen completely take cool whip and use as "icing" and put back in freezer until 30 minutes before you want to serve it, to allow it to slightly soften.