“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” — This is my favorite quote by Maya Angelou. It so succinctly conveys an important life lesson, that when followed will prevent a lot of disappointment (in more areas than just your love life).Recently one of my friends began dating someone and while each date was “good” there were signs, that now in hindsight (she has broken up with him) were distinct warnings that the relationship was doomed.
1. He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. If he used to text you a pic every day and then now it's crickets, he's not that into you. If he says he's excited to see you but has no follow up plan, he's not that into you (especially if he lives alone). If he makes zero attempt to follow up on a plan like (let's go see such and such movie) but then never responds to your inquiry of "when do you want to go see it" he's not that into you. If a man is excited about a woman, he can’t stop himself— he wants more. If he’s attracted to her, he’s going to want to take it further. If he’s not making a move, it’s not because he is ‘scared’. The only thing he is scared of is how not attracted to you he is.
2. You haven't been introduced to his friends. No, it's not that he wants to keep you all to himself. Be honest with yourself. When he likes you, he's going to want to show you off and see what his friends think about you. By introducing you to his friends, who are presumably a big part of his life, it shows that he wants to include you in all aspects of his life.
3. He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you. He says he didn’t have a moment in his busy day to call. Rubbish! The real reason is that you are not on his mind. If a man leads you to expect he will call and then doesn’t follow through on such a little thing, he will never follow through on big things. Be aware he is okay with the idea he is disappointing you. Changing plans once, I get. Twice is bad but I could understand. Anything else is just downright disrespectful. His actions are saying that you are not a priority you’re an option and not the best choice at the moment. Say bye-bye!
4. He's not trying to see you. If there is one thing guys have made clear, it's that if they want to see you, they'll find a way. If you find yourself doing most of the inviting and planning, maybe you should take a step back and figure out why. It could just be that he's lazy and likes the fact that you're planning everything (entirely different issue), but if you're in the beginning of a relationship, it most likely means he's not that into it. Quit making plans and see what happens.
5. If He’s M.I.A. Sure, they could be on a quick mission to Afghanistan to execute the world’s most feared terrorist, but chances are they’re not. Be leery of those who disappear for a few days, stop all communication, and then call suddenly. No thanks!
6. He communicates via TEXT and email. By doing so, he avoids the “getting to know you” conversations. He really isn’t interested in moving things forward. He wants the down and dirty. When can he see you? If you have already had sex, his TEXT is to set up his next booty call. He usually steers the conversation towards telling you how sexy you are and how he can’t wait to see you again. DUH!
7. He warns you that he isn’t relationship material.
Men usually say what they mean. He is telling you that he is not relationship material-at least with you-believe him! You might be the exception to the rule, but more than likely, you are not. He is probably going to have sex with you and dump you when things get too complicated (you want more from him).
8. He puts little planning into your date.He tells you that he wants to hang out and watch a movie or something. “Something” means having sex in case you haven’t figured that out by now. If you always go to the restaurant, because it is his favorite, he isn’t trying to please you. More than likely, he goes to different restaurants with different women. A guy that is really into you will plan a date. Even if the date doesn’t cost him a dime, he will plan.
9. He makes lots of empty promises. He keeps talking as if you have a future, but he takes little or no action. He talks about having a future together or all the fun things you will soon, but he doesn’t plan a date! Some men promise the moon, sun and stars, but deliver…nothing! He really isn’t that into you. Think about this. If he can’t come up with a few things that make you swoon despite his pocketbook, he isn’t that into you.
10. He makes last minute plans to see you. You are just so glad he calls that you don’t realize that that he is definitely not that into you or he thinks that you have no life and would be readily available at his beck and call. Either way, if you accept, you aren’t scoring any points. You were probably one of the women in his “little black book” and not his first call.
11. He avoids the “getting-to-know you” conversations! He really doesn’t want to get to know you better. He wants to know what he needs to know to get you into bed. If he really wants to get to know you better, he is asking questions about you, your life and what you want. If not, he is looking for the easiest, quickest booty call. He will flatter you! He will tell you how amazing you are! But he doesn’t really know anything about you. If you fall for this, don’t expect a call anytime soon. He will call you again when he is horny.
12. He is pushy about getting physical. He tries to move things forward beyond the “make out” session with minimal clothing. If you resist, he makes you feel bad that you aren’t that into him. He says that he just wants to cuddle, but he is really trying to get more. (Just so you know, most men don’t really like cuddling. They do it because it gets them sex!) He is kissing and holding you, but in the process trying to take your blouse and pants off, wants sex. If he gets upset or offended when you put the kibosh on moving forward, he isn’t that into you. If someone really likes you, he is willing to wait until you are ready to move things forward.
13. You initiate and he doesn't follow through. If you're really into a guy and you think he may be shy, try initiating a conversation, phone call or texting session. If you start the conversation, he'll want to continue it. However, if he doesn't return your calls or texts or tries to end the conversation quickly, he may not be into you.
14. His actions don't match his words.
If he says he'll call you and then you don't hear from him or if you suggest meeting up and he is "too busy," he probably isn't interested. He takes forever to text or email you back in this technological age, there is nothing easier than sending someone a quick email or text. If your male companion takes hours — or even days — to respond to these simple forms of communication with even one line of acknowledgment, it’s time to kick him to the curb. This is not only lazy — it’s also rude. He might not be sending you a text message, but he is certainly sending you a clear message of another kind. On to the next one!
15. If you have been dating for a month or more and have never met his friends, he isn’t that into you.
When men think they have found a great catch, he want to show her off. If you don’t get an invitation to meet his friends, you aren’t that girl. He wants to see you alone but not integrate you into his life, this is not a good sign. If a man is really into you, he wants all his friends to see the woman he is dating. If this doesn’t happen, you are not the woman he wants to be with long term.
16. He says he just wants to be friends. He means it. If you offer up sex as part of the package, he is willing to be friends with benefits. He isn’t stupid if you are! If you offer to satisfy him sexually, why not. If you think being friends with benefits will lead to more, it won’t. He isn’t into you in almost every case. When he finds someone who rocks his world, you are history.
17. He's not that into you if he's still hooking up with other women.
Or you even catch him at it, he’s not ready to settle down with you. Even if he still maintains inappropriate contact with exes or even other women friends he’s not ready to invest time in you or ready to have any kind of future. He’s just not worth the time if he’s out looking for someone else. Save yourself the heartache and move on. You’ll find someone who will be so thankful for you.
18. He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to marry you. If he displays the same unexcusable behaviour as any ex you've had, RUN. Every man you have dated who says he doesn’t want to get married or doesn’t believe in marriage, or has ‘issues’ with marriage, will, rest assured, someday be married. It just will not be to you.
No comments:
Post a Comment