Keep Calm, we're getting married

Join us 5/4/17 at 3:30 as we exchange vows with Judge Wood presiding.  Reception will be held 5/20/17 details to follow.

Day 12 of 365

Wow, um see how fast time flies?  Seriously just occurred to me while I was watching a YouTube channel I subscribe to Mayim Bialik, I am looking at you!  I thought, "Oh crap, haven't blogged in days".  My first instinct was to say, "I suck", but I stopped that negative thought in it's tracks; because I really don't.  Not even a little.  It's amazing what negative talk we subject ourselves to mentally, it's enough already.  So I am just going to make up for the last few days now and not berate myself over my forgetfulness to blog.

So I house sat and dog sat, yes I joke that I sit on houses and dogs.  I'm hilarious, I remind Shawn daily of how lucky he is that I have such a great sense of what is funny, even if it is just in my head.  Sometimes I can't help but say what first comes to mind and forget to filter for those who don't speak Sam.  Once upon a time I had a friend I TRULY felt I could say ANYTHING and they wouldn't judge or get offended because often we were thinking the same exact thing, and we would often say "we are horrible people".  Which of course we were for laughing at x y z.

Wow I am also digressing.  So yeah it snowed a ton this past weekend we are up to 5 feet in town so I kind of just read and snuggled with the dogs Friday night.  Saturday I shoveled my clients driveway as a courtesy and went and ran errands nothing exciting at all.  I was excited for the Golden Globes because I love to see the dresses, I am not girly but I can appreciate a beautiful gown on an actress I also find beautiful.  Carrie Underwood, I am NOT talking to you.  Not a nice person and the dress was hideous, you looked like a vagina, a really old one.

So Sunday I got a three cheese Asiago pizza from Papa John's, like I picked it up, no delivery, hot out of the oven; this is the only kind I will eat now if at all, and it has to be, like burn your mouth hot, otherwise the cheese gets cold and gross.  I watched the dogs until Monday night after I came home from work.  Good times, good side hustle as Shawn calls it.  Between my house/dog sitting/Uber Driving and full time job at Children and Family Services for DPHHS, I feel like I don't do much of anything else.

So we are at the 10th, it was my Uncle's birthday (Uncle Rick), and I called to make sure he hadn't gotten swept away in a flood or mudslide.  He hadn't.  Yesterday the eleventh we got more snow, and I just wish I could watch it snow forever.  I never get tired of it.  Like, ever.  Today I went and saw my Health and Wellness Coach for the State and made appointments for my trainer and relationship therapist.  I have no other vices except for food, I abuse it, or I avoid it.  Both have left me close to death on separate occasions.

I feel optimistic.


Ok, caught up.  Tomorrow, I will blog.  Yes, really.

Day 5 of 365

In Montana when you look at a sunbeam outside through your office window the frost looks like tiny flecks of a star.  So relaxing actually, hypnotic. Also, I just want to mention something I was thinking about, smells that make people happy.  In the top ten is for sure, toast.  What's yours?  I am absolutely obsessed with fresh garlic as well as baked yellow onion with olive oil, and a pinch of course salt and pepper and of course fresh garlic and then baked until ALMOST spreadable, just thinking about it makes my mouth water.  So I was headed to the store before work, and since last February I lost touch with a dear friend who is also my neighbor just one house away but around the corner.  So today as I was turning said corner, something in my heart said, to go right and go see TW, and so I followed that feeling instead of ignoring it.  As I walked up to the door she had it open and ready to hug me before I even got to the porch, and I was blessed to get two more hugs before I left!  What was I waiting for?  Her to come see me?  So much time wasted, but I can't look back, only forward.  I just hate to lose touch with people who come to mean so much. 


My job isn't easy, and I try to leave it there, I do; but sometimes I can't or don't and I think about how if I had a child, I would love it and never, ever let any harm I could control happen to it.  Certainly not by my hand or that of someone I put in their realm you know?  So many people are blessed to have a passel of children, and I just look to Heaven and ask the Lord for just one.  One I can carry to term, one born healthy and where we can watch her or him grow up healthy and happy and live a long life as a family.


I don't believe God is punishing me, although I certainly would deserve it after the poor choices I made in my past when I thought I should follow my heart, when really it was a chance to make the right choice and I didn't.  Live and learn.  But now I wonder if I wasted my best fertile years with someone who couldn't have cared less and so now my large, beautiful (almost paid off) home will remain silent and still and organized and clean, and company ready forever.


Dust motes won't be disturbed by a diaperless baby running down the hall with Shawn and I running after it with a diaper and jammies, while we laugh hysterically at the sight of familial chaos.


Don't take one moment for granted dear reader, if you are lucky enough to have children or family, you'll miss them when their gone when your friends become your family because everyone in your family has passed on.


I don't want my arms to be empty forever.

Day four of 365

Today was all about work and wrapping up the holiday weekend of reports.  Tonight a friend is coming over and we will all play board games and have some dinner.  Friday I start my dog/house sitting and Saturday we have game night at our friends house and Sunday Shawn starts back for this season of hockey.  Tons of snow on the ground and more on the way and winter just officially kicked off here in Montana.


Wish you were here.

Day three of 365

Back to work today and am here until 7 as usual.  Shawn will pick up a card for Uncle Rick and my sister asked me to make her a pie and send it to her.  Glad tomorrow is Wednesday, as I am looking forward to the weekend because I am pet-house sitting for a new client until Monday night.

Sometimes what we want isn't always what we need, and sometimes what we need is something we didn't even know we wanted.

Day two of 365

R & R and ran a few errands, nothing too exciting.  Keeley came over and hung out before heading back to school this Saturday.  Back to work tomorrow after a three day weekend.

Page one of 365

Snowed all day, did some grocery shopping and relaxed and played a ton of backgammon with Shawn.