I loathe waiting

I am not a fan of waiting, I am not known for my patience; I freely admit to wanting what I want the minute I want it; I also don't like waiting for others to get what I want, it's as if no one else I know has the same sense of urgency that I do.  I also seem to want things a great deal, for example I don't sort of want something; I really and truly want it with all my heart.  I don't mean "things" either, I mean a phone call from someone I love or miss, or a visit, or any other form of communication.  If I say I want to see someone, I mean I really cannot wait to lay eyes on them, "which is a really gross saying if taken literally".  I really cried when Angie came to visit me, I was so unbelievably happy to see her, that it really shook me emotionally to see her standing at my door.  It seems other people are able to be more detached, less invested in the people they love, not as "connected", I must admit that if my friend hurts, I hurt.  Hmm, maybe I need to disengage or withdraw a bit?  I will have to give that some serious thought; I am very emotional sleeve girl, and I've been told I wear my emotions for everyone to see, not a very good poker face it seems.

My phone is really starting to bother me, I hate it when it's supposed to be ringing and isn't; I start to worry and imagine all sorts of things that are causing it not to ring, like the person who is supposed to be calling is in mortal danger or something.  Alarmist, me?? Yeah pretty much, but again I want what I want when I want it, and I want my phone to ring darn it!  Oh well my friends can take care of themselves, I shouldn't worry so much right?

So I got a speeding ticket on my birthday, no seriously I did, the cop was like laughing as he walked up to my car, and he was like "do you even want to know how far past the speed limit you were going"?  Me:  "No thanks" Cop: "ever received a ticket for speeding before"? Me: "Nope" Cop: "Alright I'll give you ten over so it won't go on your license", Me: "Cool, thanks" Cop: "Slow down Sam and happy birthday, that'll be $79.00 dollars please".  Me: "Thanks you shouldn't have" lol he was nice.

P.S. The phone rang..woot..woot..

Old enough..

Europa

Feelin love...

It's been a minute; but I needed a moment.  So much has changed, I've changed, I've gotten stronger, and I feel like I've overcome some things that needed to be conquered.  So now I am back, stronger than I ever was, ready for anything, In Omnia Paratus.  I cannot remember the last time I felt this happy or empowered or confident in who I am and what I want, and that no one and nothing can or will bring me down, ever again.  I've been through hell and came out the other side, I got this; trust and believe.  My friends and yes even some family have really helped me see things for how they really are, and I've done things lately I never thought I was capable of doing.  I can honestly say I've never been happier, or more secure in life than I am right now, in this place in my life.  I've never smiled so much, never laughed this much, "or this loud" or thought more about Santana and Europa than I have in the last month.  (Inside thing; sorry).

So yeah, life is good.  I rescued another cat, Mr. Darcy, eighteen pounds of pure love and sweetness; and he is adjusting well and Sookie seems to really love the company.  Work is fantastic, the women in my office are funny and intelligent and really kind, loved my birthday present from the office btw. 

I'm 37 as of this past Saturday and I feel I've earned every gray hair on my head.  I had the best birthday to date, actually best birthday weekend; truth be told.  I am spending a lot more time out and about and went to Los Cabos in Jenks yesterday with my friends and walked around the river and went to my arcade and played Dance Dance Revolution Super Nova 2 like I have been wanting to do since last time we went, then we came home and played cards and talked; it was pretty incredible.

So it's back to business as usual, movies and work and going out in Tulsa, and it seems we will be going out on the lake a lot this summer on Michael's boat, and we are even going to camp for a day or two; yikes!  Expect a LONG blog on that one.  I have so much to do still in this life, and time is flying by so fast I cannot believe it,  I've missed writing and I am glad to be back at it.  

I will write more later but for now I am headed to a pool party in Broken Arrow, later people! 

Last night

Mr. Johns and Addie

Mr. Johns after my Easter dinner last night, right after dessert actually!

Last night I sat in my living room surrounded by people I love and respect and I thought, "jeez how lucky am I"?  So many people are less fortunate than I, and I really took in the moment and thanked God for it.  I am positive I haven't done anything to deserve all this happiness and peace and contentment.  I see things for how they really are now, and I also see people for who they are as well, and what type of person they are in my life, and how true of a friend.  A true friend loves and supports you no matter what, and they never give up on you and accept you.  I will always try to be the friend my friends are to me.  This Thursday it'll be 3 weeks since I started to get well, and I hope people are starting to see the physical changes in me, because I FEEL better.

Angie had to leave immediately after dinner and drove all the way back to Mississippi to be back at work this morning, now that is love!  I think she is going to try to come down next month or I will try to get down there to her, as Alecia says she will be my co-pilot for my first trip.  My Sookie is NOT thrilled about Copper and Heffer, Ang's two Chihuahua's at all.  As soon as she realized they were gone and not likely to return soon she was visually pleased. as in she came out of her hidey hole and started to socialize.

I finally got all the dishes washed and put away and the tablecloth washed and put back on the table, and the house is back in order.  Now I am listening to the rain, and listening to the Pogues.

Lemons Life: If you can't say something nice...

Lemons Life: If you can't say something nice...

Perfect night

Too exhausted to blog about this weekends events, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps not at all.  Beyond happy, and feeling all the love, oh and LOVING this weather!  Let's go to sleep with some Frank.