Mission San Jose, Fremont class of 92' Gottes Liebsbrief an Dich

As a child and through my school years, I moved; a lot.  My junior year in high school wouldn't be any different.  My sister and I got shipped around to various family members, some close relatives and some on the outer most rims of the "family".  It was one such move that sent me to live with Adele and her daughter Jesse.  Adele is this uber cool hippy chic that owned a flower shop where we spent a great deal of time hanging out in.  Jesse is wicked smart and would grow up to be a powerful DC attorney and own her own island, literally, but mostly Jess is incredibly sweet and kind and she'll always be my little sister.  Adele was living with Mark and his boys in this great house on Palm Avenue, a few feet from MSJ, and I loved it in their home.  There was always food in the fridge, and the lights always turned on, and the water was always hot when I got to take a shower every day. 


We listened to James Taylor & Carole King - You've Got a Friend and sang into our hairbrushes.  I learned about polarity, which is an alternative therapy that involves balancing the flow of energy in the body to improve or maintain health. It was developed by chiropractor and osteopath Randolph Stone. Polarity therapy is also known as polarity balancing and polarity energy balancing.  I learned to enjoy grooving to the hammered dulcimer. The hammered dulcimer is a percussion instrument and stringed instrument with the strings typically stretched over a trapezoidal sounding board. The hammered dulcimer is set before the musician, who may sit cross legged on the floor or on a stool at a wooden stand on legs. 


That was the year Adele taught be to drive a forklift and I earned money cleaning up new construction job sites and got my first real paycheck working at a brand new fancy pizza parlor down the street from our house.  The high school basketball star Kevin who was scouted for every college on the planet lived next door, his family had a pool, we had a Jacuzzi and we were fast friends, trading off using each others pool/Jacuzzi on game nights or when it was just plain hot.  Kevin introduced me around on the first day of school, to everyone; helps to live next door to the most popular guy in school.  Instant approval by the right groups; especially at MSJ where my best friend Regina drove a convertible Mercedes and my other bestie Danielle lived next door to MC Hammer, swanky smart house kind of place.  We used to run the length of her house causing the lights to turn off and on as we did our Risky Business impression sliding in and out of rooms.  It was a blast.


Danielle also a junior and I were fast friends and she introduced me to her circle, that included her ex, Don, a senior who she briefly dated the year before right after his mom died of cancer.  Dani said he was pretty deep but kind and funny.  I met Don at my locker, I can still picture him coming into the breezeway with Dani, my God he was painfully hot.  Hawaiian looking, but with an athletic body and his dark skin glowed a beautiful bronze color and he had a 10,000 watt smile; you know the perfectly straight stark white kind.  I remember he was cheerful and quick to laugh, charming but not in the smarmy way.  I could spot a phony a mile away, even at 15, yeah I was a pretty tough kid.  I had been to more schools and rough neighborhoods than I could keep track of. 


My mom was in a rough spot, I didn't judge her then and I don't judge her now.  My mom did the best she could with the hand she was dealt, losing her mom, her best friend and my dad all within six months; death always comes in threes right?


Back to Foster City, and Don.  I made sure it was ok with Dani, like really ok that I hung out with Don, she had already moved on and was really nice to give me the all clear on Don, true friends don't cross that line otherwise, well I don't.


Don had a couple of brothers and a dog named Ben and a dad that seemed to be frequently out of town or with his new girlfriend who owned a houseboat out on the Delta, yeah Don and I had some good times on that boat, and the boat house if memory serves, and it often does.


At first we just hung out on campus, then we started meeting up at Lake Elizabeth and pretty soon we were spending a lot of time hanging out in his room and listening to music and me resting my head on Ben and we talked for hours and hours.  Adele and Mark trusted me to make good choices and be responsible, and I did.  Although I grew up on the streets in San Francisco, breaking into vacant homes to get out of the elements and not to have to sleep with one eye open, I was still a good little virgin girl.  I mean I made out with a couple of guys to see if I was straight, I wasn't exactly, like most of my friends, we were fluid.  Mostly, I could never be with a guy I was unsure could keep me safe; seems weird but hey, I'd like to be the girl in the relationship, not the one always having to be on guard, handling business.  I just wanted someone, guy or girl who could stand guard for me so I could relax and take a breath.  Don was that person.  I never worried when I was with Don, I was always off duty.  I got to figure out who I was.  I enjoyed racing, bike racing, like BMX racing, not exactly a girly way to past the time, and guys hated losing to a girl, and they lost more often than I did on my beautiful black BMX, I loved that bike; it represented freedom to me.  My mom's girlfriend Reece found my hiding place and pawned it for beer.  Budweiser.  Ugh.


Once, I was in typing class, and Don brought me a picture he'd found in the yearbook room, of me in Junior orientation and I'm wearing a Hawaiian halter dress, it was themed ok?  Yeah, with Don I could be the girl, because even at 17, Don was a man.  I'll never forget this; in his room he had this large canvas that was completely covered by a blue sheet like material with a picture of the ocean at night with the moon shining down on the water and a single boat on the water, that's where I wanted to be, on that boat with Don just going wherever the waves would take us.  I got lost in that picture, many, many times.


I had my most important firsts with Don, he got the best of me, he saw me, he saw through me, the tough exterior and found the creamy center.  He told me that I was at my most beautiful when my defenses were down and I was vulnerable and I allowed him in.  Deep remember?  No one would ever get that close to me for a long, long time.

The intimacy in a kiss with someone you trust, now that is an epic kiss, a kiss that imprints itself on your soul; telling it, that this is what love really feels like.  Don never took one kiss or caress for granted, he seemed to understand that he was special, so special I allowed him to touch me and be close to me when no one else could.  I recall many a time I would lay my head on his bare chest and listen to the thump, thump of his heart beating and watch the rise and fall of his chiseled brown chest, just being, no noise, no violence, no words, just being.

Don would head off to San Diego for basic training NAVY, since he'd enlisted before he met me. We'd stay friends and he would come visit me and my family over the years and we remain friend to this day, talking at least once a day, true friend.