Recently I shared a story of a friends betrayal by her boyfriend who turned out to be married, I think we can all agree that was the epitome of zero cool; definitely not "rock star" behavior as he was so fond of saying. It is my opinion that a true friend, someone who truly loves you will be honest with you no matter what and good, bad or indifferent will tell you what you need to be told, and not sugar coat it just to spare your feelings. I think that there are so many cases of fake perfection.
If you think your relationship is amazing and that your girlfriend is practically perfect because you don't fight and you always know what to expect from her when you walk in the door and she is very "even keel" that's great! Here's my question though..does she have a clue who you really are or has she fallen for the you that you sold her?
I think to truly love someone and to be loved for who you really are at your core; they MUST have the opportunity to know the real you, the good and the not so good. How is anyone supposed to make an informed decision about you and their future if you don't give them all the facts? So when your husband tells you he loves you, but he doesn't know all the secrets you are keeping from him or the mountain of lies you've told him, does he really love you or the you that you wish you could be? I think the answer is no.
I think if you called your spouse, or significant other and said okay here's the whole unvarnished story, here are all the lies unveiled, these are all the times I've cheated on you; or betrayed you that the "even keel; predictable and stable relationship" that you've grown to cherish and appreciate the stability and consistency of; will suddenly dissolve into a pile of ash. All too quickly your bird singing, happy fantasy land will turn into world war three.
So my theory is this; if you find someone who truly is your best friend, someone who you trust implicitly, and who you've shown your true self to, and they decide to love you anyway; that's the person you marry. To love someone after you've seen their dark side, that's real, but to love a façade; that's not real. I'm not saying it'll all be sunshine and roses when you have honesty 24/7 but at least it will be honest. Love isn't easy, it's very impassioned, and yes often difficult but it's oh so worth it to know that the person cuddling with you on the couch loves you for EXACTLY who you are, and they don't want to change you or "fix" you but will accept you, in all your glorious imperfections because they have their own.
I'd want the truth from you, I'd want to make the decision to be with you or not after you let your mask fall away, because it's my life, my future happiness you are messing with when you lie to me and make me fall for something fake, I implore you to be who you are and embrace that, don't you think if people see the real you that they won't like you; that they won't see your worth or redeemable qualities? Don't be a chicken shit, see the thing is, people who really love you will still be there no matter what you disclose, but don't take their choices from them, you aren't God, and you have no right to make someone waste their all too short but valuable time on this Earth, with a stranger.
Moral of this story guys and gals; tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth and see whose standing there in the aftermath; that's who loves you unconditionally.
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